Prelude to France: Sea Sickness, Civil War, and the Curious Case of Painswick
Ah, France. Land of croissants, châteaux, and questionable driving etiquette. But before we even set foot on the continent, our 2025 adventure began in the most unexpected of places: Painswick, a village so quaint it makes a teacup look edgy.
Mission: Anti-Nausea
Our first heroic quest? Sea sickness tablets. Because apparently, one of us (we won’t name names, but let’s just say they turn green faster than a chameleon at a salad bar) doesn’t do boats. So off we went to Painswick, armed with Google Maps and the vague hope that the local pharmacy wouldn’t confuse “sea sickness” with “existential dread.”
Success! Tablets acquired. Crisis averted. France, you may proceed.
Civil War Graffiti: The Invisible Ink Edition
Next stop: Painswick Church. We’d read tales of ancient graffiti and battle scars from the English Civil War. Visions of dramatic sword fights and rebellious scribbles danced in our heads. What did we find?
Nothing.
Not a scratch, not a doodle, not even a passive-aggressive note from a 17th-century teenager. Either the graffiti was so subtle it required infrared goggles, or someone’s been doing a bit too much restoration. We stared at the walls like art critics trying to find meaning in beige.
Wandering with Wonder (and Mild Confusion)
Undeterred, we roamed the streets of Painswick like characters in a Jane Austen novel — minus the bonnets and emotional repression. The houses leaned charmingly, the gardens were suspiciously perfect, and the locals gave us that polite nod that says, “We know you’re tourists, but we’re too British to say anything.”
We may not have found war-torn relics, but we did find a bakery that sold cinnamon buns the size of small planets. So, all in all, a win.
Next Stop: Blandford Forum
With our stomachs full and our sea sickness fears medicated, we’re officially ready to cross the Channel. France, brace yourself, although not just yet. We’re coming though — with tablets, curiosity, and a deep disappointment in historical graffiti.
